This is My Story

This was my life before my transformation:

I was born and raised in Germany, in Wuppertal to be exact, where I spent 24 years and then I moved to Cologne. I started my first apprenticeship as a physiotherapist in Cologne, when I was 20 years old, but quit in the middle because the Job wasn’t quite fulfilling me, I loved helping people, but I couldn’t reconcile it with my conscience.
I fell into a deep hole because my heart’s desire to help people had shattered.
In the end, I reoriented myself and my journey went into media – in 2009 I completed a media apprenticeship and worked for television for 10 years – in front of and behind the camera. Moderator, model, and hostess were also part of my job for 9 years. This didn’t satisfy me either.

I have always been a happy and lively child full of joy of living. I was completely in my purity. Then puberty came, I changed very early, especially physically.

I was quite overwhelmed with it, I didn’t want it to be true and got a lot of comments from guys, in a positive sense, but it disgusted me. Additionally, daily remarks like “fat a$$” were part of my everyday Life, because I did not conform to the “ideal of beauty” of being extremely thin in the 90s. Even if it wasn’t really meant in a bad way, I took it to heart and was very offended and insecure, regarding my figure. I always wished to be very thin, I perceived my legs as too fat and rejected myself completely – I got complexes and even depression. Skin problems rounded it off and my self-esteem was even worse. But I never showed it and covered it with an “extreme self-confidence”, that was never doubted.

There were also some sexual assaults by men, which didn’t even improve my inner world and also had a very negative impact on my relationship with men and my body.

The beginning of my transformation:

I found out on my 30th birthday that my dad had suddenly passed away, I fell into deep sadness and depression. For almost 1 year I was just crying and wanted to stay in bed.

I started psychotherapy for the first time, but the psychotherapist turned out to be a catastrophe, no empathy, no competence, but luckily I was there only three times and on the last day it escalated completely. I got so angry and told her how bad her skills were and left the office. I thank her for that in retrospect.

Because after that I swore to myself to change EVERYTHING and to help myself and to heal myself, on my own.

I started listening to guided meditations, I started doing Yoga and I started studying personal development and spirituality. I acquired a lot of rituals, read a lot, changed my diet and my entire lifestyle.

1.5 years later, I travelled to India and completed my Yoga Teacher Training and I participated in many seminars specialized in personal development.

Now I am very happy and proud of myself, that I have helped myself – just by myself – coming out of the deepest hole of my life – and I want to share my story with as many women as possible, inspire and encourage them, that everything is possible and that you always have to believe in yourself! We are such strong beings, don’t forget that.

My vision is to make the world a better place and to contribute to the fact, that WE women support each other – stick together – like each other and are in OUR purity.

In addition to this, I have written a women’s guide book, how I managed to give therapy to myself – to love myself and regain my joy for living.

I’m happy to be part of your  positive development. ♡